Richard Dawkins in Hiding

Jul 7, 2011 (Reuters) Evolutionary Biologist Richard Dawkins has disappeared from public view after narrowly escaping an abduction attempt by members of the fanatical Teapot Church.  Several of his speaking engagements have erupted in madness, when thousands of followers overwhelmed security, forcing the audience to flee. Earlier this year the religious group publicly declared Dawkins to be the "Second Coming", based on interpretations of biblical scripture and the writings of Nostradamus.  According to his spokesman Robert Nearly, "Richard is quite terrified - he doesn't understand why a cult would choose one of the world's most outspoken atheists as their savior.  He is baffled."  Although many theories have been proposed, Dr. Ebenezer Grue, Professor of Religion at Cornell University, believes "this may have something to do with the Pope".